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Mark Twain in France


Mark Twain, a famous American writer, liked to travel very much. Once he was travelling in France. He was going by train to one little town. That day Mark Twain was very tired and wanted to sleep. He asked the conductor to wake him up when the train got to that town. He said, “I am a heavy sleeper and I’ll probably protest loudly when you try to wake me up. Don’t listen to me, just put me off the train”.

Then Mark Twain went to sleep. When he woke up it was night. The train was in Paris already. Mark Twain understood that the conductor had forgotten to wake him up. He got very angry. “I have never been so angry in all my life”, Mark Twain said to the conductor. The conductor looked at him and said, “You are not so angry as the passenger whom I put off the train instead of you three hours ago”.

One dav Mark Twain arrived at a railway station near New York. Mark Twin got so angry after that answer, he said to his companion, “They talk to me like this because they didn’t know who I am. If they knew…” “Do you think it would help you?” his companion said. That was too much. Mark Twain found the same local official and told him what his name was and asked him if he could have two tickets. But the official turned his back. Just at that moment a young porter of a sleeping car looked at Mark Twain. He whispered something to the conductor and nodded towards Mark Twain. He offered him two seats in the sleeper.

At last the writer and his companion were settled comfortably in a big family compartment. At that moment the young porter’s face appeared at the door, “Oh, sir, I recognized you in a minute I saw you”. “Is that so? Who am I?” asked Mark Twain “You’re Mr. McAllen, Mayor of New York”.

As Much As You Need Remarque, the author of “All Quiet on the Western Front”, was talking to an American girl in Berlin. The American, speaking in German, asked Remarque why he had never visited the United States. His answer was that he knew only a few sentences in English. “What are the sentences?” asked the girl. Remarque said slowly in English with a very strong German accent, “How do you do? I love you. Forgive me. Forget me. Ham and eggs, please.” “Why”, said the American girl, “with that much English you could travel in my country from New York to California”.

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