How many times do we make ourselves think of our behavior and treatment towards other people? And the same question used to be held in a painter’s head.
Bernard lived on his own, but, on the other hand he had the whole world in his arms. The painter was a well-skilled one and was able to draw everything: the sun, the sky, humans and so on. But the most favorite painting in collection was the picturesque, where his sensible soul was absolutely seen. He wasn’t afraid to improvise and used the inspiration in a wide range. Every time when Bernard gathered all his works, he felt happy and it seemed that it was enough for him to live…but, in fact, everything was much more complicated than we can imagine. Of course, we know that it’s not simple to guess what this person had in his heart. It would be better to spend some time with him, living life he had.
Perhaps, Bernard was an outstanding man and that’s why it was common for him to show a special character like those, who are “too” talented or have genius. Sometimes, he was suppressed by himself and just couldn’t understand his mood or frame of mind. From time to time, the painter turned into a demon full of anger and hatred. It was hard for him to look in the mirror for he wouldn’t recognize himself. At those moments, the world was miserable, disgusting and irritating for Bernard; he became pale and immersed in loneliness. Believe, you would be on the verge of tears if you were around him.
Bernard was sure that the main problem was coded within him. He insisted that he wasn’t a victim of the world – just an imprisoned person. He took an opportunityto go away to rehabilitate himself, but everything was useless. Besides, he had nobody to help him, to give a helpful hand, because again – Bernard couldn’t trust anyone.
One day, Bernard decided to take a stroll in order to find the answers to his questions. Unfortunately, that day it wasn’t very sunny. It was a little foggy and cold, in a word it was autumn in London. While walking along the alley and breathing out a warm steam, he noticed an interesting old man with a stick in his hands, not far away. They were moving towards each other as if were going to meet many years past. Yes, Bernard had an idea to break the ice with that gentleman for the purpose to draw him. Everything went inexpressively and very calmly, because Bernard didn’t want to be active and sociable. Nevertheless, the two men came across and began an unusual dialogue.
‘Good morning, my friend!’ – said the old man taking off his hat.
‘Nothing of the kind, but glad to greet you.’ – answered Bernard to the man.
‘Well, it’s rather strange for me to hear such hopeless words from you. Why do you say so? I see sadness in your eyes.’ – the old man.
‘You must be very useful to me, frankly speaking… M-m-m, why not go over there and have a talk? Will you?’
‘I see it’s very important for you – you’re so disappointed. What’s this?’ – the man gave a nod and went further with Bernard.
It was quite curious, but Bernard didn’t remember the real purpose of the talk.…he felt that it was that very time to open the door and get to know…the key was near.
‘Have you ever felt that you’re not real or you can’t open yourself up and show all?’- Bernard started. – ‘To tell the truth, sometimes you can’t even understand how to do it, because you are lost, not certain. Let me ask you.’
‘Yes my friend, I let you. Moreover, I know what you mean. And I’m going to help you as I didn’t do that for myself many years ago…but I’d like you to tell me your mood.’- answered the old man willingly.
‘If you’re ready, I’ll tell you. My life is not common. It is full of interesting things – I’m a painter. But there is one more part of my story, which seems to be set deep inside myself. Generally, I’m all alone. How many times I tried to find a person to give my soul to, to let this person come into my life, and what? I missed every chance – something stopped me, when I was about to find an appropriate moment and the words. Looking back, I realize it’s a destiny against: I began saying all, but not the main. Happened that I got fed up with everything and shrank into myself again. I wish I had spoken to them in another way.
‘Did you really love them and want to create a special, wonderful world for them?’- the man interrupted. – ‘Did you think you were not right for them, and the voice inside ordered you to leave for another place? And then you saw a blacklinen in front of your eyes, the ground was moving under your feet – no desires and needs. You were a monster again. Sorrow and damaged pride swallowed you, but it was too late to turn the leaf back.’
‘You… you lived the same?’- and a great pause followed.
The old man touched Bernard’s shoulder shaking his head: it was like he saw himself twenty years ago and was eager to convince that young man of something. Bernard felt uncomfortable for he sensed the man’s soul was injured by him, though he didn’t mean to hurt him.
‘Please, would you please listen to me, I don’t wish you to repeat my grave mistakes. Find the strength within yourself, you should tell them about your true love and care before you die. Don’t lose minutes of happiness with your nearest and dearest as they are worth being given the light of your eyes and warmth of your heart. You know that – so do make this gap smaller. Next time when you see them, imagine you’re a child, you’renot what you are, just catch this feeling. Being a child you’ll manage to reveal you all. Don’t forget that time can’t wait!’- the man’s words sounded very firmly and a bit indignant.
‘What your words are! I just can’t take in what you want to prevent me from. It’s like a serious mistake that causes your personal destruction. Am I right?’ – Bernard.
‘I’ll bet you are, and all I say it is not only for your knowledge. I went through what bothers you today. Years ago, – his lips shivered – I denied my family, my tiny daughter. I left them for another life as I couldn’t find myself and didn’t understand the main idea of my life. Later, when I got understanding, it was too late. And there were moments I longed to come back, to show them that I’d changed my mind and, as you say, something stopped me. I felt sick and ashamed. I walked around the circle of my vain life full of suffering and pain. That is how you shouldn’t live. You should make your precious ones happy – youwere born for it, that’s it. – The old man tried to smile at Bernard, but it was beyond his power.
Bernard couldn’t utter a word, emotions empowered him. He covered his eyes with palms and looked at the sky. About to fly like those birds he whispered: ‘Gosh! That’s the way I should take! In the long run, I’m able and I want to open the door with the sky I’m given by you, God! You’ve brought me to life, Mr. …- when Bernard lowered his head there was no one next to him, ‘very strange’ – he thought. ‘Where is he, that person who has given me this advice? I ought to thank him but he’s not here. How can I find him…the city is so large. I believe I’ll see him someday…’ – a moment further Bernard kept his head busy with other things on his way home.
The place where both of them had been standing before was slightly covered with snow, pretty inexplicable, because it was only September and no one could predict such weather. Nothing can be predicted when coming across.